STILL LAKE - bEhiND ROsY sMILes

Hungry Tide

2011-04-28T04:58:00.000-07:00

Out of inspiration from the book and boredom of the summer

A Pair of Wings

2011-04-11T00:03:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy: Memphis86 at deviantart

Cry

Cry with me now

Tears will follow

Did you not

Know ?

From the very start

So why does it hurt

If we could grow a pair of wings

We could fly away to the east

And build a tree-house, in paradise

If we could walk away from the world

We could go to cliffs up north

And live in a cave in paradise

Scream

Scream with me now

The pain will subside

What did we

Think?

That we can live through

The great distance

If we could grow a pair of wings

We could fly away to the east

And build a tree-house, in paradise

If we could walk away from the world

We could go to cliffs up north

And live in a cave in paradise

Take

Take my hand now

Walk with me

Let’s try and

Take

Take the plunge and see

If we can survive

We don’t need a pair of wings

We could still fly to the east

And build a tree-house, in paradise

We could walk away from the world

We could go to cliffs up north

And live in a cave in paradise

Inspired by Snow Patrol: Chasing Cars

Mandolin Man

2011-03-18T08:49:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy: Fire Opal 14 on Deviantart.com

Lying on my bed, a lazy afternoon

Nothing’s on the radio, dozed away soon

A distant music in the silence made want to me smile

Made me want to laugh for a longer little while

It’s not just the music, there’s story in it

Is it mine or is it yours, or just on love is it?

It plucks on slowly at me, makes me want to cry

Makes me want to laugh again, and makes me want to try

Mandolin Man

Where did you come from, where will you go

Mandolin Man

What is your secret, I want to know

Mandolin Man

You stole my heart now, with just a few notes

Mandolin Man

I sing along with you as my heart floats

Singing along with you, singing the same tune

Lost my senses, come now dance under the moon

What a lovely sunflower, what a pretty rose!

How come I never sat by and watched when the sun rose

Singing along with you, I forgot everything

A traveler can’t stay just for a pretty thing

Even if the love is strong, and the music says it all

You have to go I know, yet the heart will take a fall

Mandolin Man

I’ll think of you every day, and your lovely song

Mandolin Man

All things you said and heard, my heart will long

Mandolin Man

It’s true I love you, I love you so

Mandolin Man

For one last time I say, please don’t go

I recently bumped into a song called The Mandolin Man and His Secret by Donovan. The title sounded lovely, like an old epic love song. I was very disappointed when I heard it (and read it). Yet it inspired me to try my own hand (and my own voice) at it. Here is what I got. No, there is no audio clip. May be a month later, I would feel like it to record.

Miss You, Dear Friend

2011-03-11T21:42:00.000-08:00

Miss you

When I see the sun shine

When the sun plays behind the clouds

When the Indian flag flutters

When the leaves call me (us)

When the flowers are not red

When I see the waters at the beach

When I see a flute or a feather

When I see the candle

When I see the butterflies

And in all of them

I see you

And remember

You are my friend

As much as I am yours

(26th July, 2004)

Gift-Wrapped !

2011-03-05T22:06:00.000-08:00

Look outside your window Step outside that door

Let the sunshine inside Let the warmth flow

Walk again in the woods Wilderness at stake

Packed up in a gift-wrap Hold out your hand, just take

Forgive me my friend For the stupid moments

Five or ten from now Laugh or cry, it depends

But today I won’t blame you If you don’t see the fireworks

Trust the tale that’s told now In the shadows it lurks

Why oh why do things change Wait, I don’t see it move

Nomadic movement I see Everywhere I approve

But now is not the moment To think twice or thrice or more

Let the sunshine inside Let the warmth flow

Facebook is a playground Blogging I no longer do

In fear of fears that see Evading the loneliness true

Let my poems shift base To gather sipping ice

Hear and see it all weird Sleeping walking and breathing lies

But not today no no It is the time to glow

Let the sunshine inside Let the warmth flow

Pieces in the puzzle now It’s what you make

Packed up in a gift-wrap Hold out your hand, just take

Image copyright and courtesy: http://www.advantagebridal.com/sunflower-favors.htm

Driving Down the Road

2010-02-21T13:13:00.000-08:00

Turned the ignition on

Slowly I eased on to the road

With a cheque book gift-wrapped with a little bow

Lying on the next seat

I started driving

Down the winding road

With a little red ribbon and its bow

On the cheque book on the next seat

I kept driving

Into the city full of toys

And so many new things that came by

With gift-wraps and little bows

Window shopping

All way to the new stores

Shows and handbags with glittery gems

And many new dresses

Hanging by the window

All so tempting to be taken

I stepped down whenever whatever

Everything into the backseat

Things kept piling

Bills with ink and fading

Stuffed with excess baggage back there

Full of colors and cute little noises

Tired of driving

Drove into a motel down the road

Parked the car at the parking, full to the core

With a cheque book in my hand

On the bed, just lying

Thinking of all the things

Lying in the backseat to the brim

Colors and cute noises

Then to throw it

Throw it all way for one

On little precious thing better than

All the excess baggage

Walked to car

Dumped it all out of

Picked the one thing I would want

Threw it all away

Started driving

With a cheque book next

To me in gift-wrap and a little bow

A precious one in the backseat

In the drone

Of the driving I couldn't

Hear the tin-can tattering at the back

A tin-can tied to the rear

Picked up

My scissors to cut

The tin-can out of the way

Cut the rope

Couldn't do it

May be tomorrow

May be another tomorrow

Let it be for a while

In the drone

Of the driving I couldn't

I couldn't hear it ever at all

Let it be for a while

Started driving down the road

A precious one in the backseat

In next, cheque book gift-wrapped with a little bow

A tin-can tattering tied to the rear

Maybe tomorrow

Another morrow

One precious better

Than a backseat full

Yet a tin-can tatters

Cheque book never ends

Cheque book gift-wrapped with a little bow

And precious in the backseat

Why Can't We Smile ?

2009-06-10T00:43:00.000-07:00

Tell me
Why does the heart beat
Faster in fear than fun
Why do memories stay
Longer in pain than fun

Tears move mountains
Sad songs make you cry
Hurt brings humanity
Loss brings wisdom

Why do we always
Grab on you despair
Why cant the world speak
Of good and happy

Why
Does a pretty picture
Of a sole sunflower
Never win a prize
Why
Does the drought-struck land
With a starving kid
Win all accolades

Why can't we all smile
Why can't we all cry
Joy, tears of joy
Why can't we all smile

A Sunflower-Shaped Cake

2009-06-10T00:29:00.001-07:00

A sunflower-shaped cake
So full so beautiful
Candles lit all over
Ready, waiting to be blown
Holding promises
Of wishes to come true
Cake so tempting
I's like to make a wish
And take a delicate bite
Part of me says do it
Wishes shall come true
And the cake is your heaven
Don't! says another
The last you had was burnt
By the flame of wishing candles
Yet another part
Makes a wish skywards

Tire Swings

2009-02-03T02:52:00.000-08:00

I went to the park for a little walk
Thought I'd get a moment to finally talk
But you never looked around when I walked by your side
And when I followed you, you glared at me with spite

I never could have given up
If I were so strong
But I m just a little girl
Who got it all wrong
I could have been all that
Assertive type
If I had known it would work
and that's what you'd like

But it never works like we had
Always planned
So when it doesnt work we
Let it go and stand

Celebrate

2008-01-02T07:01:00.000-08:00

Speak
In a different language
That no one can speak nor hear

Sing
In a lighter tone
that no one can play

Music
For a thoughtful reason
That no one can rationalise

Live
In a wonderful world
that you make for yourself

Say
That you wanna be the
Way
that you wanna be that
Way
that you can
Say
That it's the
Way
you wanna be

Alone
But not afraid
Hurt
but not broken
Hard
but still fragile
Stoned
but beautiful

Dreams
Feelings
Abstract realism

Colours of Cutie

2007-10-22T00:37:00.000-07:00

Soothing soberness
Musical waves from violin
Sweet as the flower
The deepest hue of violet

Firmness felt
A dye too stubborn to go
The zeal and the drive
The shade of indigo

Smooth out the sky
Unmoved whatever you do
The trickles of changes
All in the shades of cool blue

Proven perfection
A boulder to lean
Gloomy shyness
It’s here, flourishing green

Mountains are moved
All it takes a smile and a hello
Crazy with laughter
The happiest hue of yellow

Sweetie soft
But spiced up for challenge
A steady teddy
It’s the tangy orange

Roughened roads
A difficult drive led
Step by step you reach
The purest form of red

With the rainbow I rejoiced
And remembrance recorded
White as a wandering cloud
Like wading waters, I wean out

These songs and many more...

2007-07-04T04:07:00.000-07:00

It's a lonely day
Slowly and slowly it passes
and every minute
Slowly and slowly people slip away

And at the end
Of the lonely day
The starry night sky
So unchnaged and unmoved

Its all you have
All that stays right through
Down the winding road
That life leads you along

Simple words to soothe you
Simple music to sway to
All you need right now
Is a simple sweet song

Songs; About the ones who loved
Songs; About the ones you loved
Songs; About the ones who left
Songs; About the ones you left
Songs; About the ones to come
Songs; About the ones you take
Songs; About the 'you' you were
Songs; About the dreams you have
Songs; About the open sea
Songs; About where you'll be
Songs; About your sad times
Songs; About your smiles and joys
Songs; About your footprints behind
Songs; About the road ahead
Songs; With words to soothe
Songs; With music to sway

These songs and many more......

juST Another daY

2007-04-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

I woke up
It was late
I left my morning
To the fate
All alone
Not a soul in sight
I fucked up
So I tried to fight

Too fogged
Too disturbed
Too sedated
Too curbed

May be I could kill myself
May be I could kill you
May be I m dead already?
May be I m just blue

I exist
But I m invisible
My flame
Is extinguishable
I got up
But hit the floor
I could see
Life close its door

Too cold
Too frozen
Too numb
Too deadened

May be I could kill myself
May be I could kill you
May be I m dead already?
May be I m just blue

Who cares?
Who cares?
When I m gone
When I m dead
It’s the same
All the same.

i feel alone... read the title...

Where I Belong

2006-10-23T04:00:00.000-07:00

Grew up on the sands
Grew up on the shore
Water splashing at my feet
Calm of a wave’s roar
Softness in the sands
The smell of the breeze
Warmth in the air
The comfort when I am there

That’s where I belong
That’s what I call home
Not here, not ever
That’s my own land
Though never spared to watch
Sunrise upon the silver sea

In a new place now
I am living alone now
An awesome life I lead
Achievement on its own
Laughter and the tears
A varied, rich life
But alone now
Where do I belong now?

That’s where I belong
That’s what I call home
Not here, not ever
That’s my own land
Though never spared to watch
Sunrise upon the silver sea

So many times I walked
Along this new shore
Remembering good old times
Back from home sands
Wished I was home again
Away from this lonely life
Shed a tear or two
Where do I belong now?

That’s where I belong
That’s what I call home
Not here, not ever
That’s my own land
Though never spared to watch
Sunrise upon the silver sea

At dawn one day I saw
The shimmering sheet of silver
With a single strip of pink
From where the flaming disk arose
Daring the grey clouds
A breath – taking view
Made me wonder again
Where do I belong now?

This is where I belong
This is what I call home
Right here, Right now
It s my own land
Taking time to watch
Sunrise upon the silver sea

IF I were...

2006-07-22T10:18:00.000-07:00

If I were a rainbow
I would fill the world with joys of colours
If I were a sparkling brook
I would quench the thirst of weary travellers
If I were a misty cloud
I would breeze past the meadows to bless the dried fields
If I were a whispering prayer
I would go to god with a helpless plea
If I were a lost spirit
I would go in search of the golden truth
If I were a drop of water
I would wet the lips of a dying soul
If I were a ray of light
I would chase the darkness to give new hope
If I were a swift horse
I would neigh in symphony and gallop to freedom
If I were a mighty eagle
I would fly by high with wings of grace and fire
If I were a smoothing pebble
I would run to the rhythm of a flowing river
If I were a straw of hay
I would bask in the sun to burn when needed
If I were an angel
I would bless the world with loads of love
If I were a figment of imagination
I would settle in the wits of a bright child
If I were myself
I dream n dream but simply live my life

Unspoken Hostility

2006-07-22T10:16:00.000-07:00

There was this dark night
So dark was the endless night
No comparison,
Not even to the strain most melancholy
So deep that nothing is left
Exception a morose remorse
The night goes on
So terrible in its endlessness
But goes on,
Awaiting the dawn
The only thing that drives is:
A golden ray of hope,
A hope so less in its truth-
A hope so impossible.
No compassion, no shell,
No strong shoulder now.
The only one that has ever been
Has broken the bond between
Will this night ever end?
And the darkness retreat?
Will the normality
Not seems such an absurdity?
So, I say a little prayer
A whisper, a plead, a cry to god
Help me through the endlessness
Guide me through the dark
Thank you for everything
Some thing worthwhile in life
Nevertheless, please fulfil my wish
Not now, at least in this lifetime
Hold my hand
And take me through unspoken hostility
Let the night end, darkness turn to light
And fulfil my needest need

The Spinning Top

2006-07-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

There works a little girl
In a greasy, old teashop
With pain and grief in her heart
All she does is clean, serve and mop
On day break by the gate
She saw others and cursed her depressed fate
She saw children play
Play, play, and play
She saw children read
Read, read, and read
She eyed them and wept
Wept, wept, and wept
Cause all she does is work
Work, work and work
Then to play with a top she left her work
And got a slap and a push to get back to work
With tears overwhelming in her eyes
She looked at the top in her hand
And spun it to the ground as if spinning her life
To see it spin on the land
With tears now rolling down her cheek
She cursed herself for being so meek
But all she did was watch
Watch, watch, and watch
As the top spun round
Round, round, and round

A Kargil Hero

2006-07-22T10:12:00.000-07:00

You put on wings of fire
And forgot the wings of desire.
You are a true patriot
And showed everyone India’s true portrait.

You’re Mother India’s perfect child
And your selfish desires are very mild.
You may take wing, you may sail,
You may march, but you never fail.

Army or Navy
Whatever it may be,
It may even be a flight
But you always fight.

I know you always fight
With your heart very light,
Even in the dark of the night
As you are a brave knight.

I just want to tell you,
Me and every Indian too,
That you are not alone
And we shall cheer in a faithful tone.

Mother India-the paradise
Is proud of you,
Dear Kargil hero
I dedicate this to you.

Colours of love

2006-07-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

Live a life worthwhile
Working for a cause
You are born
You do not know why
God has made you special
You belong somewhere
A creation you are
For a reason – you knew not
Live your life and live it up
And watch the colors of love
Fluttering in the wind
High above all else in the world
Nourish the love of your life
With green pastures of prosperity
Blanket them with the snow-white clouds
Where your scientific thoughts help it grow
Top it up with the jewel in the crown
By washing it with your sacrificial blood
Coz all your love is stored in it
Which runs in your every vein
The mortals we are, have an end you see
No regrets for a life lived to the fullest

You were born you knew not why
You have lived a life worthwhile
Let the end not just be an end
Let it be a start – a ray of encouragement
Let your death be a new beginning
For a life that is to be after you
Let you die knowing you died
With your blood on the fluttering wing
Fluttering on top of the world
So saying you shall die
With your body returning to your mother

“India I am yours – a part of what you are.”

The Oasis

2006-05-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

my dreams fulfilled.... finally i enter IIT... with lotsa hopes and dreams... but the truth aint that way.... here goes.....

The forever night
Has finally ended
A long awaited dawn
Smiled at me
Horizons far away
The golden rays I see
Blessed am I!
A marvelous delight!
Yes how I waited!
Yes I can see it
The huge globe of red
Rising steady and high
Higher with the rise
The sun has risen
My dreams realized

The golden moment
It has come
Flung open my arms
To take it all in
The coldness melted
As the bliss of warmth
Chased away
Away all the chill

The warm rays
Touched my soul
Amazing emotion
Basking in the golden light…

Something’s changed
My eyes widened
Startling it was
Speechless and wondering
No longer warm
No longer a bliss
The cherished sun
Scorching me
Scorching me harsh

Lost and confused
I stand alone
The mairage is gone
The truth speaks desert
What is real?
What is the truth?

Dreams shattered
Hopes lost
But strong
Strong is my faith

Keep on going
Keep going on
Hear your whispers
Yes easier said
But I set out
In the endless desert
I set out
In search of the oasis

In my lonely search
Can feel your hands
In my own
Can feel your presence
All aound

Take me with you
Lead me on
Oasis is awaiting
Take me to it
Take me
To you
Just
Take me.

Walking Alone: A year of solitude

2006-05-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

Walking alone
I hear them talk
Words said and heard

Walking alone
Is this the pain?
I know not what’s ahead

Walking alone
It’s a beautiful world
But where does it lead?

Walking alone
Friends and family call
To give strength to my step

Walking alone
Coz they don walk
Not with me

Walking alone
Hopes of the dreamt
Ethiopia lead me on?

Walking alone
The little dear
Knows courage and fear?

Walking alone
The forest’s beautiful
With dark secrets held?

Walking alone
With creepy little things
It is just my thoughts?

Walking alone
Awaiting a golden dawn
Dawn does exist?

Walking alone
Hope’s all there is
Ethiopia has nights too?

Walking alone
Through dark nights
Darker still ahead?

Walking alone
Keep it going on
Things may just get better?

Walking alone?
Not when I can feel it
Feel that eternal presence

Walking alone?
When I sense
That firm hand hold mine

Walking alone?
When the golden light
Leads me on

Walking alone?
Along a dark path?
But I can see the light
Yes, a light
Faint but strong
I can feel the hand
A secure firm grip
Telling me, I am never alone
I can see it and feel it
Yes, I can

Oh Mirror! My Mirror!

2006-05-09T10:54:00.000-07:00

One day I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
A little girl
Playing in the sand
And living in the world of fantasy.

I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
A young woman
Braving her way
Striving to be somebody

I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
A brave knight
Fighting for his countrymen
Courage and fame

I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
A greedy merchant
Satisfied as he drunk
The blood of the poor

I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
A lovely damsel
Conversing with her lover
On the beauty of the stars

I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
A godly doctor
Blessing a dying soul
With waters of life

I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
A proud mother
Laughing with her baby
As it took its very first steps

I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
A serial killer
Mercilessly slaughtering a life
Drinking from the cup of Satan.

I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
A grieving daughter
Weeping at a grave
Where her father slept

I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
A lost soul
Seeking the eternal truth
And searching the Unseen

I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
A solitary man
Praying in solemn
Listening to the depth of silence

I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
A veiled corpse
Veiled by Death in deep slumber
With the spirit hovering over it

I looked into my mirror
And oh! What did I see?
Life
Oh! Enchanting mirror
Tell me who you are

I, my friend,
Am life,
Your inner soul
That which is a part of
The Supreme

The fairy Princess

2006-04-03T04:55:00.001-07:00

I feel like a fairy
Just want to grow
A couple a wings
Jump into the skies
And take off
Lift up to
Swim in dreams
Where soft breeze
Ruffles my clothes
Stars decorate
My hair
The moon is a pendant
Upon my breast
The Milky Way
- my tiara
The dew drops are
My earrings
The sun
- my golden throne
Yes-
This is my kingdom
The adobe
Of my dreams
And I am
The Princess

Fill Me... On and On

2006-04-03T04:55:00.000-07:00

Yeah
I am right here
So disconnected
Nothing matters
No more Not ever
Numb and drunk
No cares No worries
Jus a smug on my face
My glass touches my lips
Intoxicated, I stare up
Stare at the dark night sky
Little tiny stars winking
A faint smile on my lips
Looking around
People everywhere
People in distress
People in joy too much
Either too much of it
Or too little of it
Never perfect
Men…. Never satisfied
My glass almost empty
Fill it again
Yeah…
I was right here
Not now
Now that I have faded
Faded painfully slow
Faded into the dark shadows
Faded forever…
Fill me again
Before my glass is empty
Fill me again
I wanna stay invisible
Fill me again
Till my soul disappears
Fill me again
Till I no longer exist

Come Back My Angel

2006-04-03T04:54:00.001-07:00

The lights go out
The summer turns winter
The storm breaks out
And drowns me under

The fire seeps up
The molten dreams smash
The body is all scorched
Till all is left in ash

Then came the stab
And what’s little left in pain
Covers the world in grief
Till the soul is all slain

The bed of roses so thought
Well hidden and thorned
Stung dark and deep within
Till the heart bleeds
And the soul is mourned

The last little thought
To keep on breathing
To live to see tomorrow
When all is well and shining

Come back my angel
And undo what’s done
Piece back my life together
With strings of love, under the sun

Unwound my body
Unbreak my heart
Unslay my soul
Stay never to part

Weave me my life
Cover me in dreams
Under the moonlight
Together in sparkling streams

The Shell

2006-04-03T04:54:00.000-07:00

So many things said and done
Many go unexplained
Dunno how and never why
Wounds are never healed
Cover it and retreat in
That’s how it’s always been
All the pain penned down
And the poems go unread

Betrayed and Broken

2006-04-03T04:53:00.000-07:00

Oh!
Hidden stars in the sky
Smoky shadows on earth
Stench of betrayal in the air
Blood pooling in the water

Truth stamped underground
Kingdom of the Traitors
Bitten by bitter promises
Stabbed by belief

Faded in the dark
Numb is the heart
Life hovers like a ghost
Soulless and insane

Shiny pieces of metal
Rule the verses and canvas
Soft and tender colors
Shape deepest shade of black

Truth exposed to the world
Doped in unfathomable lies
Secrets known is a criminal
Unfolded in an asylum

I Don Feel No More

2006-04-03T04:50:00.000-07:00

I feel I can
Go on further
Coz I have a heart
Made of stone
I think I can
Keep going on
Coz I don feel
No more

No more pain
No more laughter
I can’t feel myself
No longer

Gone outta myself
Body is wounded
Heart is stabbed
Somewhere I am

Gone outta myself
All hopes mourned
Dreams obsolete
All fantasies buried

No more pain
No more laughter
I can’t feel myself
No longer

I dunno
I don see
I don feel
I have no clue
What’s going on
Like I care…..

No more pain
No more laughter
I can’t feel myself
No longer

The Reason

2006-04-03T04:30:00.000-07:00

ok... the reason why i started blogging... sometimes it feels better to let myself out... and let my problems flow on... to ppl i don really know... then i don have to think of wat they might be thinking abt me... they may never know who i am... so basking in my anonymity... i can go ahead and let myself loose... let my hair down... and my tears roll.... so hears goes... " to my blogsite"... say cheers....